On Jul 10, 1:09 pm, "FarStar" <ecowboy...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> "Amanda Reid" <scrawlm...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>
>
news:90ead5b7-e755-4e36-9272-8c87e6ed47ef@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>
>
> > On Jul 9, 9:22 pm, "FarStar" <ecowboy...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
> >> From favor fell, the vampire walks
> >> and talks and galks and socks like
> >> a red blooded american, but
> >> set in his ways, he criticizes th day
> >> a star deign ****ne in his sky, in his unlife.
> >> And so the strawman became his best friend
> >> and the snipe his s****t
> >> (as pathetic as it was)
> >> He strove at making the world a better, cleaner place
> >> not so full of trash, and all those people he would classify as..
> >> moronic, platonic, stupid, in otherwords human
> >> compared to the gift of life he had been presented,
> >> which was discarded for safety, for profit, for power
> >> trading his soul for unlife eternal
>
> > There once was a juvenile vamp
> > Who thought his fridge verses were camp.
> > When the snipe-hunters said
> > They were only still dead,
> > He would curl up his fingers and stamp.
>
> Ok
Okay. You have a smattering of idea(s), evidenced by your various
attempts at verse.
Not only does the craft of verse require work (and usually more than
999 of 1000 are willing to put into it, so don't feel like the Lone
Ranger), so does the fundamental idea.
That work can't be excused by counting the 999 who didn't do it.
1. Has the idea been had before? If so, how's your version an
improvent (in content or statement)? If not, how can you put it so
that it doesn't get taken for more of the same old?
2. Has the form been used before? "Free verse" is little more than
notes for a poem, usually still bad, and /always/ already used by
everybody else. Study a few simple forms (some good quatrains come
from Housman and Frost, ballads from Burns and Carroll, couplets from
Pope and Dryden) and learn to say some simple to middlin' things in
them. When the versing is about as easy as talking, using it won't
interfere with arringing the idea.
(P.S.: Rhyme and meter are /not/ what make the simple forms so
effective, but therein lies a curriculum. Fortunately, the rhetorical
figures exist also in prose. You'll have had 'em if you figured out
what they were. If not, try to spot 'em when you read Housman, etc.)
Guluk.
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