real men fall off (unicycles)
+++
****head
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music on random
do re mi
'idiot grin'
***
mp3
+++
funny video
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"ok wiz"
"what did ya do to my body friday night ?"
i just had a little crash on th unicycle
nuthin too serious
"was it on th left side ?"
yeah i think so
was kinda out of it at th time
"thanks for tellin me"
+++
drinkin a vodka cruiser
raspberry
sickeningly sweet
kuta lady gave me a coupel to imbibe at home
+++
hey i didnt feel it when i fell off
+++
i was right on th limit
for legal drinkin and drivin
"over ya were"
they let me go
hey im on a unicycle
+++
went to see my dealer
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smoked some cones with er
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scuse i
packin a bong
..
..
..
powderfinger
'sunsets'
..
..
..
sunset over a beach
and ridin a unicycle in th surf
with th wind and
low tide and
stupendous blondes stoppin me to get a photo
jeez i dunno
..
..
..
"jeez i needed that"
it was a soft fall i tell ya
just a broadslide that got too loose
and they'd asked for a trick
"chuck em to th right next time ok"
..
..
..
think you'll find you havent pulled th cone
"not you too"
..
..
..
yes maam
that;s a boys bike
no training wheel
as you can see
+++
?
"i like big butts"
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girls bikes with fast engines
racin tonight
on telly
th gp season starts
i know what th g stands for
<<<smile>>>
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****in safety bicycles
it's sickening
+++
woz it mcgee used to ride a solo wheel ?
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"randy mamola i think"
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teach ya grace anyway
mamola i can believe
magic in th wet
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smooth
with a capital
ooooooo
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im a wizard
i dont look at spelling
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i just bought a stick
"fun things you can do with a stick"
[didnt i tell you to **** off ?]
so i'm well heeled to watch th first race of th season
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radiohead
'rabbit in yur headlights'
+++
beware of taxis
+++
there's a taxi out there
somewhere
with my name on it
+++
gunna squash my head
and spit th unicycle out th back
in a hurry
to get you home
+++
dont drive too fast
while th wizard is in town
he'll cut you off on a unicycle
and scare th **** out of you
when you come out of th tunnel
while th ppl
standin on th sidewalk
waitin to get into th nightclub
laugh at your misfortune
+++
the kinks
'susannah's still alive'
+++
garbage
use me'
***
i rode down th
steep bank
down to th river
th two couples
ive just been drinkin vodka with
yellin encouragement
about two thirds of th way down
wet grass
wet leaves
sliding
losing traction and regaining it
a step
just a little board
set into th hill
but a three inch drop
in th dark
on th steep bit
and im angling down
i go over it
getting air
land it clean
and
jump th next board proper
to gain access to th concrete path
nice squeels and
clapping in my ears
thanks folks
have a nice night
+++
**** it was slippery
gorgeous
right on th edge
went on th bag about two hours later
for bein in th middle of th road
and wanderin
honeslty
liek i told yur partner officer
i was just crossing th road
to come down this side
<<< smile >>>
+++
do re mi
'cuttlefish beach'
+++
nice dickless tracy
told me off for laughin at er
+++
still let me go
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<<< smile >>>
+++
real stern
lady police officer
if i see you ridin that wheel
in th next thirty minutes
i'm gunna do you
maybe i paraphrased
maybe i havent
i said id walk down to my mad mate
and do some more singin
and eventaully walked away laughin
+++
im th clown
im supposed to break a few rules
and th unicycle is my
pedestrian assistance vehicle
in my record
im disabled
<<< smile >>>
+++
the kinks
'death of a clown'
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ah **** off
it wasnt that close
th taxi drivers side tyre is still turning
and my hand is running down it
where's th rest of my body ?
ok
just twist this way
mad uncicyel
ah there it is
get up
walk in front of th cab
to th footpath
and remount at leasure
then jump th gutter
back onto th road
and up brunswick street
ah man
+++
been there done that
didnt even draw paint this time
<<< smile >>>
what's th matter with ya jenny ?
ya goin pussie on me ?
"sorry dude"
+++
massive attack
'hymn of th big wheel'
***
a suitable song for
a page about unicycle flying
+++
i get sidetracked
go walkabout
it's th black fella in me
+++
only a gentle ****in breeze
outside at th moment
not wild enough
to tax th abilities
and truth be told
should be upside down
stretching
a few more torn muscles
discovered saturday morning
hmmm
did i go flying last night ?
+++
i came round this post
and it got sideways on th steel
grating
so when i hit th pavement
i was already spinning and sideways
and th pavement was wet
well wet
beautiful
controlled slide
and back to
weavin in and out
of
whatever presents itself
oooohhh
slippery tiles
nearly spilled my coffee
gday
how ya goin?
woops
nah we're still there
bit slippery out tonight
you have a good night too
<<< smile >>>
right jenny
thru th posts
and dont take out th last one
when she slides
shoulder's still sore
**** i gotta get a new tyre
back of th wheel clipped th post
well that was different
for my next trick
i'll see if i can get past th coppers
without em yellin at me
to get outta th mall
i cant believe i just did that
just keep riding man
+++
me
'wheel tail monkey'
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smile and nod
+++
and if necessary
point at th earplugs
listenin to music
i cant hear you
think im gunna go this way really fast now
friday night
she didnt use th siren
oh dear
a crowd arrived but
and these two guys were goin spare
at th coppers
leave him alone
she gave em a move on order
and i didnt want a bigger scene
than i already had
so i basically walked him
and his mate
's alright mate
they;re usually pretty goood to me
lets see what develops
and she give me bit of chat
after i walked em
how she was gunna arrest him
"not my ppl"
my argument
was that it was nice that they cared
arlo guthrie
'i'm going home'
i got told off
i been told off before
and she only said
stop ridin it for th next thirty minutes
and im like
ah that;'s right
just not in front of ya's
i keep forgettin
man
th look
in her eyes
****
do ya know that feeling ?
arlo does
+++
love ya arlo
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jewel
'do you weant to play ?'
+++
yeah im toasted
im still ridin
still in one peice
been doin it five years
peice
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i gotta break some rules
im th clown
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last clown they dragged to court
th judge got mad at em
us clowns arent entirely stupid
stoned out of our ghourds yes
pissed ?
yes
but we do knwo what we're doin
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get out of th ****ing road
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nirvana
'floyd the barber'
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if yur not on th edge
get out of th ****ing road
wizard coming thru
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that 24 inch wheel ****in flys thru th crowd
so much faster than they think a wheel can go
never seen extreme unicycling
never seen a gutter jump
never seen one wheel
doin slides
+++
placebo
'running up that hill'
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how was that for a slide ?
**** that;s slippery
went down gorgeous
two guys picking me up off th ground
properly amazed
later ellen
+++
beautiful with a violin
singing
he liekd our duet
told me off
cause i;d stop
and listen
and bein cheeky
pu****n me to sing up there with ya
was really cute
jenny got off
but you know that
don't you
+++
then that big bunch of guys wanted a unicycle trick
and i was already leaving
yeah ok
but tip th lady ok
<<< smile >>>
thank you
yur voice is hot tonight
+++
"she liked th ****in slide too"
yeah alright jennifer
"a committed slide"
this is gunna be a crash
+++
a perfect circle
'a stranger'
+++
womble would have me ride by
and as i sailed past
he'd yell out
asking for a crash
and i'd oblige
big
spitting th unicycle
twenty feet
unicycle crashes
and
surprise
ah there ya are
womble
here's yur coffee man
can ya hold mine ?
i gotta go retrieve my wheel
ah
here's some nice guys have done just that
thank you
nic eppl
+++
play me something original
+++
"and i'll give you an aboriginal background"
+++
pulp
'common people'
+++
singin in th street
is an addiction
+++
you can be larger than life
+++
"poor confused paulie"
+++
dazed and confused
where'd th bong go ?
+++
where'd th echo go ?
"not singin in front of th kombi"
i love that **** matt
+++
machine gun felatio
'take it slow'
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my girls voice
was really there at that stage
+++
ah there we go
she's danced back
and thrown in th hat
thank you
he'd say thank you but
he;s got soemthn in his mouth
playin th flute like that
and back in to th background
aboriginal singin
+++
we're both flyin on th drum machine
im singin harmonies
and acapella beats
and wherever else my warped brain takes me
till some dickhead asks for lyrics
pluck a stock theme
original
or grab one
and
let go
in th music
and hope it dont get TOO wicked
no control once it lets go
+++
led zeppelin
'since i've been loving you'
+++
i look around
and th light's in th sky
dawn
hmm
i've sung till dawn again
wanderin around my muso friends
**** life's good
and doin bucket bongs with rock spider
under a
[deleted]
must of been cigarette night
i didnt have any tailor mades
and th ppl
were just
here have one of these
all singin and drummin night
it's all good
..
..
..
land surfer dude
+++
p.s.
****
i went to go round this post
down th bottom end of adelaide street
under th construction
posts ****in everywhere
and i turned
and
nuthin ****in happened
hmm
houston
did somebody drag a wet girl thru here ?
slippery as
think i might just
let this one drift to th outer posts
an hope i get traction when i hit th concrete gutter edge
ah there we go
nearly an unintended gutter jump
aint gunna make it round that post
wot's my next alternate ?
ok
round that one
chop in front of that chick
thru that gap
and every second one there after
now no more moments ya *****
ah got to th end
abso ****in lutely no idea how i did it
but im hangin off th post
so it's all goood
+++
moby
'****celain'
+++
it's not every one's cup of tea
riding a boys bike
in which case
i suggest you purchase
a girls bicycle
a safety bicycle
a boys bike with a trainin wheel
how cute
you can do tricks on yur girls bike
real men fall off (unicycles)
you'll just have to live
with th fact
that you sit down to pee
if you see a girls bike
you should cry out
at th top yur lungs
girl's bike
so it's CLEARLY identified
LOOK OUT
THERE ARE GIRLS BIKES...
